You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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