Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Randomize
