I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
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