the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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