party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I can't put those talents on a resume
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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