I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Randomize
