Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Randomize
