fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
My vagina just recognized that song.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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