My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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