I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
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