she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
