i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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