You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
