The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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