And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
