perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
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