I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Randomize
