Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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