drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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