New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
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