I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
