My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Randomize