i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Randomize
