I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
