i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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