Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
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We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
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I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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