we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
