last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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