My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
