i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
