Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I am one with the molecules
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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