He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
