I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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