Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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