isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize
