Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Randomize
