Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize