Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
