but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
