After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
