i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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