brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
