I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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