That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
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