That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize