Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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