Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
