Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
