I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
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He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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