we have officially lost it.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize
