Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
