just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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