I showed him my bush... on skype.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
My penis needs a shock collar
this hospital has no fireball
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
