The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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