I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
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