i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize