Already got asked if we're dating
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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