Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
there was a trapeze. enough said
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
This baby is an asshole
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
