he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
