If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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