I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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