She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Randomize
