hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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