WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
