i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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