Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
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Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
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I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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