i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
