so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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