Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
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when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
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After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
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