Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
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